le deluge: surviving the election

Almost all of my clients are saying the same thing: "I was stressed enough with Covid and quarantine ... I don't know how I'll get through the election."

If you're saying the same thing, you are hardly alone. The American Psychological Association found that 68% of Americans say that the election is a "significant" source of stress in their lives.

So what can you do about it?

You know the answer, say it with me: SELF-CARE.

But what does that look like? Do you always get an image of a bubble bath, like I do, which I don't even enjoy?

As I see it, there are two prongs of post-election self-care: Avoiding toxicity, and imbibing comfort.

This will obviously be different for everybody. The idea of watching Harry Potter #7 in your oldest pj's might not be so comforting for you as it is for me (and that is totally fair).

The fabulous Dawn Friedman, of Building Family Counseling, shared this self-care worksheet for before, during and after the election. I found that completing it helped me make a reassuring plan for whatever may come our way this week. I have a Zoom call on Tuesday night scheduled with good friends. I know what music I want to fall asleep to that night, and how I'll engage my senses in the days that follow. I know I'll need to laugh, so I'm making a YouTube playlist of old SCTV bits that still make me howl. The worksheet asks you to think about what and who makes you feel safe, grounds you, and gives you support. It helps you think about what you can and can't control. And it encourages you to brainstorm ways you can be of service to others -- one of the best stress-relievers I can think of.

Here are some other ideas:

• Connect with your home. For many, home is the safest place on earth. Tidy up, paint your back steps, build a cat climbing wall. Feathering our nests reminds us of the pleasure amd privilege of having one.
• Move and breathe. We all know this by now, moving and breathing are some of the best ways to manage stress. Make a list of your favorite ways: belly breathing, a dance moment, warrior I. Bonus points if it's a movement that reminds you of your childhood (Hustle, anyone?)
• Go offline. Takes turns with your loved ones sharing information.
• Avoid toxic gloaters.
• Create an ongoing project. Extend yourself into a future where you will be OK. My neighbor spent an hour every weeknight in October dressing up in costume and waving at the cars that passed her busy intersection. By the middle of the month she had a gang of clowns, hotel maids, and sorting hats (you're welcome) to join her. It was infectious and monumental and joyous for all who participated. Maybe for you, it's a family vision board, with pictures of where you all want to go when quarantine is over. Or a monthly friends' outdoor dessert potluck. Because there is always room for dessert.
• Write to your candidates and, win or lose, thank them for running. Stay involved, re-commit yourself. Seeds grow into sprouts into redwoods.
• Start thinking of (more) ways to help anyone who will need (even more) support in the coming years. Inventory your resources, talk to your friends and family, do it together.