More Artist/Creator Care
The other day I just could not do it, I couldn’t get myself to write.
Caring For Your Inner Creator
Such a good question, right: Like a narcissistic parent living through their talented child, are you using your inner creator for attention, acclaim, or other? Or are you letting it be what it wants to and is meant to be?
Mongols in Middle School
I want to say I was fairly clueless about being intentional in meaningful relationships before the age of, say, 35, when I met my husband. I simply did not know what I was doing. Mainly because I was raised by wolves, or something close to wolves; or maybe it’s better to say that I was raised by robins when I, in fact, am myself a wolf.
Premeditated Resentment: Our unconscious expectations
We use the second arrow metaphor to illustrate that life is full of painful experiences that we make even more painful with our thoughts about our experiences. So now I don’t just have a dirty car, I have a dirty car and a partner who's an asshole.
Family Planning in Today’s Ohio
“I don’t want to deal with a pregnancy in this political climate.”
Mutualism in Marriage; Or, Lose the “Wife”
I’ve been working with couples for years and here is what I currently think about marriage: It should be like surgical stitches, something that pulls you together in the beginning that dissolves when you no longer need it.
The A+ Marriage; or, Why are we so disappointed?
Are you being a Karen in your relationship, always complaining to the management that you’re not getting your money’s worth?
The Family as Narcissist
Like narcissistic individuals, the narcissistic family mass is never going to change the dynamic -- why would they? It's the codependent who is wrung out like an old rag who will benefit from stepping out of this dance.
Couples’ Cheat Sheet
Nothing says I’m pissed like throwing potatoes! Use this handy “cheat sheet” to get through a relational crisis.
IFS Parts and Creativity II
More exploration of Jung’s active imagination technique, IFS and creative parts
Writing from the Self
My therapist guided me to talk to Madame, who told me she knew I could do better. That I wasn’t living up to my own standards, that I was a much better writer than my work revealed.
Yes You CAN Learn How to Have a Healthy Relationship!
So often one of my clients will say, “Why doesn’t anybody tell you any of this stuff?!” It’s no secret, what makes good relationships.
Hold Your Own Dang Self Tight
I'm reading Sue Johnson's Hold Me Tight, a distillation of her Emotionally Focused Therapy interventions for couples to read and use themselves.
While I appreciate and myself use EFT techniques to strengthen attachment between couples, I do also believe that we have to get over any deep dread of loneliness/being alone. That's just not good, and puts a lot of stress on another person: ALWAYS BE THERE FOR ME, EXACTLY AS I NEED, OR ELSE I'LL DIE! We all have to learn to attach to ourselves.
So I've rewritten Sue Johnson's "ARE you there for me? Quiz" to help you think about whether or not you've developed this kind of relationship with yourself.
Planning for Failure in Marriage
Given that half of all marriages end in divorce, and that relational betrayal is as impactful as "battlefied" trauma, doesn't it make sense to plan for that not-so-remote possibility?
relating to important oppressors; also, disgust in couples
While children may demand attention, acting out in a variety of unpleasant ways until the parents' eye is finally caught, it is unseemly in adults. Moreover, it is unsexy.